If Game of Thrones Houses Had Cars, This Is What They Would Look Like

Jalopnik thought it would be wonderful to try and  imagine what the houses in the Game of Thrones would be. And here is their result;

So let’s pretend.

House Lannister

The Lannisters are best known for their extreme wealth and power. So their car, the Lannister Leopulance LX550 needs to be a blinged-out overdone luxury barge.

The Lannister house isn’t exactly what it once was underneath, and relies a lot on its past glories, hence the retro-ish design like the crazy Mitsuoka coachbuilt cars that come out of Japan. Mechanically, I’m imagining a somewhat outdated but still impressive drivetrain, like a big 5.5-liter straight-eight driving the rear wheels.

Comfortable, fast, showy, handles like a boat. Like the love child of a Lincoln Town Car and Phyllis Diller’s Excalibur.

House Targaryen

Above, the Targaryens—the house of exiled princess-turned-Khaleesi Daenerys Targaryen—were weird. Powerful, sure, but weird. They had dragons, they had strange silver hair and violet eyes, there are hardly any of them left, but once they ruled everything.

Their car has to be impressive and deeply strange, so I’m imagining a long, streamlined, rear-engined, cab-over luxury limo-sized streamliner.

The name, Dracar, comes from the Valaryian word dracaris which seems to mean “shoot fire,” at least based on how it’s used on the show. I’m thinking there’s an inverted-V10 engine at rear, just to be super-weird, and the view from that huge domed windshield has to be impressive.

It’s clearly dragon-inspired, because it kind of has to be, which also explains that segmented dorsal upper central fin.

Think of this as sort of a cross between a Tatra T87 and Captain Nemo’sNautilus, the Disney version, at least in general look.

House Martell

The Martells are from Dorne, which, in the Game of Thrones universe, seems to be a sort of Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/Desert stand-in. As such, if the House was a car, it would have to be some off-road sort of car, something at home blasting across deserts.

The Dornish are also known to be an exotic, passionate people, so this thing needs to be fast and fun, too. The Dornish Motors Duneserpent 300DE is all that, with the DE standing for ‘dual engine.’

The four-wheel drive system is similar to what our world’s Citroën used for the 2CV Sahara, with an engine at each axle. The 300DE uses two flat-six motors at each end, for a potent 12-cylinder beast. This thing is fast and very capable, with a high ride height and a very rugged design.

They’re sort of hedonists, too, so above the rear engine is a good-sized padded area for lounging or boning or whatever, and I’m not even sure you can order it with a hardtop or side glass.

Oh, and that snake decal on the hood is a very popular option.

I think there’s going to be a big Greyjoy/Iron Islands story this season, so even though they’re not really a power player, I’m including them here.

They’re from islands, and are a seafaring people first and foremost; if they were a car, it would have to be amphibious. Which this is.

I also always got the impression that they weren’t always the most financially prosperous House, so this is a sort of amphibious shitbox, decent on water but crap on land, like most of the Ironborn.

It’s a three-wheeler, with a steel hull and a fiberglass cabin. It’s got a below-decks-mounted 1.2-liter inline-three. Picture the Krakabout DX (the LX one has chrome trim and a heater) as a Reliant Robin smashed into a rowboat.

The Night’s Watch

There’s no way the Night’s Watch won’t be important this season, what with all those scary ice-zombies and shit lurking around. The Night’s Watch is a no-nonsense organization with a very specific, militaristic job to do. And if they were a motor vehicle, all those traits would be the same.

I’m imagining a tracked vehicle, to get through all the snow and ice. I think the Blackcrow Carryall 4G11-T would be a sort of truck, reversed from how we know them, with the bed up front.

The rear would be a sort of small troop carrier, heated, with a bit more open cargo at rear. There’s a snowplow up front, too. It’d have some kind of big diesel engine, maybe an inline-6 laid on its side, under the bed, driving front and rear tracks.

Culled from Jalopnik.com